Droitwich (n.)

A street dance. The two partners approach from opposite directions and try politely to get out of each other's way. They step to the left, step to the right, apologise, step to the left again, apologise again, bump into each other and repeat as often as unnecessary.

Droitwich

Seattle (vb.)

To make a noise like a train going along.

Seattle

Mugeary (n. medical)

The substance from which the unpleasant little yellow globules in the corners of a sleepy person's eyes are made.

Mugeary

Bude (n.)

A polite joke reserved for use in the presence of vicars.

Bude

Araglin (n. archaic)

A medieval practical joke played by young squires on a knight aspirant the afternoon he is due to start his vigil. As the knight arrives at the castle the squires attempt to raise the drawbridge very suddenly as the knight and his charger step on to it.

Araglin

Tyne and Wear (nouns)

The 'Tyne' is the small priceless or vital object accidentally dropped on the floor (e.g. diamond tie clip, contact lens) and the 'wear' is the large immovable object (e.g. Welsh dresser, car-crusher) that it shelters under.

Tyne and Wear

Mavis enderby (n.)

The almost-completely-forgotten girlfriend from your distant past for whom your wife has a completely irrational jealousy and hatred.

Mavis enderby

Screeb (n.)

To make the noise of a nylon anorak rubbing against a pair of corduroy trousers.

Screeb

Abinger (n.)

One who washes up everything except the frying pan, the cheese grater and the saucepan which the chocolate sauce has been made in.

Abinger

Wetwang (n.)

A moist penis.

Wetwang

Gallipoli (adj.)

Of the behaviour of a bottom lip trying to spit mouthwash after an injection at the dentist. Hence, loose, floppy, useless. 'She went suddenly Gallipoli in his arms' - Noel Coward.

Gallipoli

Solent (adj.)

Descriptive of the state of serene self-knowledge reached through drink.

Solent

Dockery (n.)

Facetious behaviour adopted by an accused man in the mistaken belief that this will endear him to the judge.

Dockery

Wrabness (n.)

The feeling after having tried to dry oneself with a damp towel.

Wrabness

Aberystwyth (n.)

A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for.

Aberystwyth

Taroom (vb.)

To make loud noises during the night to let the burglars know you are in.

Taroom

Botolphs (n.)

Huge benign tumours which archdeacons and old chemisty teachers affect to wear on the sides of their noses.

Botolphs

Frimley (n.)

Exaggerated carefree saunter adopted by Norman Wisdom as an immediate prelude to dropping down an open manhole.

Frimley

Sidcup (n.)

One of those hats made from tying knots in the corners of a handkerchief.

Sidcup

Corfu (n.)

The dullest person you met during the course of your holiday. Also the only one who failed to understand that the exchanging of addresses at the end of a holiday is merely a social ritual and is absolutely not an invitation to phone you up and turn up unannounced on your doorstep three months later.

Corfu

Fairymount (vb.n.)

Polite word for buggery.

Fairymount