The Meaning of Liff

A remote acquaintance passed off as 'a very good friend of mine' by someone trying to impress people. Ardcrony

The little spoonful inside the lid of a recently opened boiled egg. Symond’s Yat

Medieval ceremonial brass horn with which the successful execution of an araglin (q.v.) is trumpeted from the castle battlements. Hunsingo...

To make a noise like a train crossing a set of points. Trantlemore

The small bone buttons placed in bacon sandwiches by unemployed guerrilla dentist. Beccles

The absurd flap of hair a vain and balding man grows long above one ear to comb it to the other ear. Scraptoft

People who just won't go. Clunes

A seventeenth-century crime by which excrement is thrown into the street from a ground-floor window. Burlingjobb

The curious-shaped flat wads of dough left on a kitchen table after someone has been cutting scones out of it. Pudsey

The flakes of athlete's foot found inside socks. Skenfrith

A small, long-handled steel trowel used by surgeons to remove the contents of a patient's nostrils prior to a sinus operation. Botusfl...

The fibrous algae which grows in the dark, moist environment of trouser turn-ups. Huttoft

Complete shagged out after a hard day having income tax explained to you. Swanibost

The clump, or cluster, of bored, quietly enraged, mildly embarrassed men waiting for their wives to come out of a changing room in a dress s...

A nipple clearly defined through flimsy or wet material. Budby

The telltale little lump in the top of your swimming trunks which tells you you are going to have to spend half an hour with a safety pin tr...

Descriptive of the satisfaction experienced when looking at a really good dry-stone wall. Skellow

The puddle on the bar into which the barman puts your change. Goole

The erection you cannot conceal because you're not wearing a jacket. Stebbing

A school teacher's old hairy jacket, now severely discoloured by chalk dust, ink, egg and the precipitations of unedifying chemical rea...

One who loudly informs other diners in a restaurant what kind of man he is by calling for the chef by his christian name from the lobby. ...