Quall (vb.)

To speak with the voice of one who requires another to do something for them.

Quall

Kent (adj.)

Politely determined not to help despite a violent urge to the contrary. Kent expressions are seen on the faces of people who are good at something watching someone else who can't do it at all.

Kent

Amersham (n.)

The sneeze which tickles but never comes. (Thought to derive from the Metropolitan Line tube station of the same name where the rails always rattle but the train never arrives.)

Amersham

Pimlico (n.)

Small odd-shaped piece of plastic or curious metal component found in the bottom of kitchen rummage-drawer when spring-cleaning or looking for Sellotape.

Pimlico

Warleggan (n. archaic)

One who does not approve of araglins (q.v.).

Warleggan

Shifnal (n., vb.)

An awkward shuffling walk caused by two or more people in a hurry accidentally getting into the same segment of revolving door. A similar effect is achieved by people entering three-legged races unwisely joined at the neck instead of the ankles.

Shifnal

Pen-tre-tafarn-y-fedw (n.)

Welsh word which literally translates as 'leaking-biro-by-the-glass-hole-of-the-clerk-of-the-bank-has-been-taken-to-another-place-leaving-only-the-special-inkwell-and-three-inches-of-tin-chain'.

Pen-tre-tafarn-y-fedw

Nad (n.)

Measure defined as the distance between a driver's outstretched fingertips and the ticket machine in an automatic car-park. 1 nad = 18.4 cm.

Nad

Munderfield (n.)

A meadow selected, whilst driving past, as being ideal for a picnic which, from a sitting position, turns out to be full of stubble, dust and cowpats, and almost impossible to enjoy yourself in.

Munderfield

Affcot (n.)

The sort of fart you hope people will talk after.

Affcot

Lowther (vb.)

(Of a large group of people who have been to the cinema together.)
To stand aimlessly about on the pavement and argue about whatever to go and eat either a Chinese meal nearby or an Indian meal at a restaurant which somebody says is very good but isn't certain where it is, or have a drink and think about it, or just go home, or have a Chinese meal nearby - until by the time agreement is reached everything is shut.

Lowther

Berry Pomeroy (n.)

1. The shape of a gourmet's lips.
2. The droplet of saliva which hangs from them.

Berry Pomeroy

Grimmet (n.)

A small bush from which cartoon characters dangle over the edge of a cliff.

Grimmet

Wendens Ambo (n.)

(Veterinary term.) The operation to trace an object swallowed by a cow through all its seven stomachs. Hence, also (1) en expedition to discover where the exits are in the Barican Centre, and (2) a search through the complete works of Chaucer for all the rude bits.

Wendens Ambo

Tingrith (n.)

The feeling of silver paper against your fillings.

Tingrith

Boseman (n.)

One who spends all day loafing about near pedestrian crossing looking as if he's about to cross.

Boseman

Guernsey (adj.)

Queasy but umbowed. The kind of feeling one gets when discovering a plastic compartment in a fridge in which things are growing.

Guernsey

Oshkosh (n., vb.)

The noise made by someone who has just been grossly flattered and is trying to make light of it.

Oshkosh

Pelutho (n.)

A South American ball game. The balls are whacked against a brick wall with a stout wooden bat until the prisoner confesses.

Pelutho

Gweek (n.)

A coat hanger recycled as a car aerial.

Gweek

Massachusetts (pl.n.)

Those items and particles which people who, after blowing their noses, are searching for when they look into their hankies.

Massachusetts

Sutton and cheam (nouns)

Sutton and cheam are the kinds of dirt into which all dirt is divided. 'Sutton' is the dark sort that always gets on to light-coloured things, 'cheam' the light-coloured sort that clings to dark items. Anyone who has ever found Marmite stains on a dress-shirt or seagull goo on a dinner jacket (a) knows all about sutton and cheam, and (b) is going to tome very curious dinner parties.

Sutton and cheam

Kerry (n.)

The small twist of skin which separated each sausage on a string.

Kerry

Corriemoillie (n.)

The dreadful sinking sensation in a long passageway encounter when both protagonists immediately realize they have plumped for the corriedoo (q.v.) much too early as they are still a good thirty yards apart. They were embarrassed by the pretense of corriecravie (q.v.) and decided to make use of the corriedoo because they felt silly. This was a mistake as corrievorrie (q.v.) will make them seem far sillier.

Corriemoillie

Banteer (n. archaic)

A lusty and raucous old ballad sung after a particulary spectacular araglin (q.v.) has been pulled off.

Banteer

Nacton (n.)

The 'n' with which cheap advertising copywriters replace the word 'and' (as in 'fish 'n' chips', 'mix 'n' match', 'assault 'n' battery'), in the mistaken belief that this is in some way chummy or endearing.

Nacton

Grinstead (n.)

The state of a lady's clothing after she has been to powder her nose and has hitched up her tights over her skirt at the back, thus exposing her bottom, and has walked out without noticing it.

Grinstead

Luton (n.)

The horseshoe-shaped rug which goes around a lavatory seat.

Luton

Worgret (n.)

A kind of poltergeist which specialises in stealing new copies of the A-Z from your car.

Worgret

Greeley (n.)

Someone who continually annoys you by continually apologizing for annoying you.

Greeley

Scronkey (n.)

Something that hits the window as a result of a violent sneeze.

Scronkey