Hunsingore (n.)

Medieval ceremonial brass horn with which the successful execution of an araglin (q.v.) is trumpeted from the castle battlements.

Hunsingore

Huttoft (n.)

The fibrous algae which grows in the dark, moist environment of trouser turn-ups.

Huttoft

Haugham (n.)

One who loudly informs other diners in a restaurant what kind of man he is by calling for the chef by his christian name from the lobby.

Haugham

Hutlerburn (n.archaic)

A burn sustained as a result of the behaviour of a clumsy hutler. (The precise duties of hutlers are now lost in the mists of history.)

Hutlerburn

Hucknall (vb.)

To crouch upwards: as in the movement of a seated person's feet and legs made in order to allow a cleaner's hoover to pass beneath them.

Hucknall

Haxby (n.)

Any garden implement found in a potating shed whose exact purpose is unclear.

Haxby

Henstridge (n.)

The dried yellow substance found between the prongs of forks in restaurants.

Henstridge

Hever (n.)

The panic caused by half-hearing Tannoy in an airport.

Hever

High Limerigg (n.)

The topmost tread of a staircase which disappears when you're climbing the stairs in the darkness.

High Limerigg

Hoddlesden (n.)

An 'injured' footballer's limp back into the game which draws applause but doesn't fool anybody.

Hoddlesden

Hoylake (n.)

The pool of edible gravy which surrounds an inedible and disgusting lump of meat - eaten to give the impression that the person is 'just not very hungry, but mmm this is delicious'. Cf. Peaslake - a similar experience had by vegetarians.

Hoylake

Hathersage (n.)

The tiny snippets of beard which coat the inside of a washbasin after shaving in it.

Hathersage

Harpenden (n.)

The coda to a phone conversion, consisting of about eight exchanges, by which people try gracefully to get off the line.

Harpenden

Happle (vb.)

To annoy people by finishing their sentences for them and then telling them what they really meant to say.

Happle

Hambledon (n.)

The sound of a single-engine aircraft flying by, heard whilst lying in a summer field in England, which somehow concentrates the silence and sense of space and timelessness and leaves one with a profound feeling of something or other.

Hambledon

Humby (n.)

An erection which won't go down when a gentleman has to go for a pee in the middle of making love to someone.

Humby

Hagnaby (n.)

Someone who looked a lot more attractive in the disco than they do in your bed the next morning.

Hagnaby

Hadzor (n.)

A sharp instrument placed in the washing-up bowl which makes it easier to cut yourself.

Hadzor

Horton-cum-studley (n.)

The combination of little helpful grunts, nodding movements of the head, considerate smiles, upward frowns and serious pauses that a group of people join in making in trying to elicit the next pronouncement of somebody with a dreadful stutter.

Horton-cum-studley

Heanton punchardon (n.)

A violent argument which breaks out in the car on the way home from a party between a couple who have had to be polite to each other in company all evening.

Heanton punchardon