Saturday, June 30, 2012

Glororum (n.)

One who takes pleasure in informing others about their bowel movements.


Friday, June 29, 2012

Minchinhampton (n.)

The expression on a man's face when he has just zipped up his trousers without due care and attention.


Thursday, June 28, 2012

Frosses (pl.n.)

The lecherous looks exchanged between sixteen-year-olds at a party given by someone's parents.


Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Polbathic (adj.)

Gifted with ability to manipulate taps using only the feet.


Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Dobwalls (pl.n.)

The now hard-boiled bits of nastiness which have to be prised off crockery by hand after it has been through a dishwasher.


Monday, June 25, 2012

Scorrier (n.)

A small hunting dog trained to snuffle amongst your private parts.


Sunday, June 24, 2012

Clathy (adj.)

Nervously indecisive about how safely to dispose of a dud lightbulb.


Saturday, June 23, 2012

Tumby (n.)

The involuntary abdominal gurgling which fills the silence following someone else's intimate personal revelation.


Friday, June 22, 2012

Baumber (n.)

A fitted elasticated bottom sheet which turns your mattress banana shaped.


Thursday, June 21, 2012

Glemenuilt (n.)

The kind of guilt which you'd completely forgotten about which comes roaring back on discovering an old letter in a cupboard.


Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Tillicoultry (n.)

The man-to-man chumminess adopted by an employer as a prelude for telling an employee that he's going to have to let him go.


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Alltami (n.)

The ancient art of being able to balance the hot and cold shower taps.


Monday, June 18, 2012

Happle (vb.)

To annoy people by finishing their sentences for them and then telling them what they really meant to say.


Sunday, June 17, 2012

Lochranza (n.)

The long unaccomplished wail in the middle of a Scottish folk song where the pipes nip around the corner for a couple of drinks.


Saturday, June 16, 2012

Smearisary (n.)

That part of a kitchen wall reserved for the schooltime daubings of small children.


Friday, June 15, 2012

Melcombe regis (n.)

The name of the style of decoration used in cocktail lounges in mock Tudor hotels in Surrey.

Melcombe regis

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Forsinain (n. archaic)

The right of the lord of the manor to molest dwarves on their birthdays.


Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Plympton (n.)

The (pointless) knob on top of a war memorial.


Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Dibble (vb.)

To try to remove a sticky something from one hand with the other, thus causing it to get stuck to the other hand and eventually to anything else you try to remove it with.


Monday, June 11, 2012

Scopwick (n.)

The flap of skin which is torn off you lip when trying to smoke an untipped cigarette.


Sunday, June 10, 2012

Clackavoid (n.)

Technical BBC term for a page of dialogue from Blake's Seven.


Saturday, June 9, 2012

Tigharry (n.)

The accomplice or 'lure' who gets punters to participate in the three card trick on London streets by winning an improbable amount of money very easily.


Friday, June 8, 2012

Baughurst (n.)

That kind of large fierce ugly woman who owns a small fierce ugly dog.


Thursday, June 7, 2012

Woking (participial vb.)

Standing in the kitchen wondering what you came in here for.


Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Aldclune (n.)

One who collects ten-year-old telephone directories.


Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Hambledon (n.)

The sound of a single-engine aircraft flying by, heard whilst lying in a summer field in England, which somehow concentrates the silence and sense of space and timelessness and leaves one with a profound feeling of something or other.


Monday, June 4, 2012

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Glazeley (adj.)

The state of a barrister's flat greasy hair after wearing a wig all day.


Saturday, June 2, 2012

Shirmers (pl.n.)

Tall young men who stand around smiling at weddings as if to suggest that they know the bride rather well.


Friday, June 1, 2012

Marlow (n.)

The bottom drawer in the kitchen your mother keeps her paper bags in.