Kettleness (adj.)

The quality of not being able to pee while being watched.

Kettleness

Kelling (participial vb.)

A person searching for something, who has reached the futile stage of re-looking in all the places they have looked once already, is said to be kelling.

Kelling

Kirby (n.)

Small but repulsive piece of food prominently attached to a person's face or clothing. See also Chipping ongar.

Kirby

Kanturk (n.)

An extremely intricate knot originally used for belaying the topgallant foresheets of a gaff-rigged China clipper, and now more commonly observed when trying to get an old kite out of the cupboard under the stairs.

Kanturk

Kilmurvy (n.)

Man who owns all the latest sporting gadgetry and clothing (gold trolley, tee cosies, ventilated shoes, Gary Player- autographed tracksuit top, American navy cap, mirror sunglasses) but is still only on his second gold lesson.

Kilmurvy

Kent (adj.)

Politely determined not to help despite a violent urge to the contrary. Kent expressions are seen on the faces of people who are good at something watching someone else who can't do it at all.

Kent

Kerry (n.)

The small twist of skin which separated each sausage on a string.

Kerry

Kibblesworth (n.)

The footling amount of money by which the price of a given article in a shop is less than a sensible number, in a vain hope that at least one idiot will think it cheap. For instance, the kibblesworth on a pair of shoes priced at £19.99 is 1p.

Kibblesworth

Kirby misperton (n.)

One who kindly attempts to wipe an apparent kirby (q.v.) off another's face with a napkin, and then discovers it to be a wart or other permanent fixture, is said to have committed a 'kirby misperton'.

Kirby misperton

Kettering (n.)

The marks left on your bottom or thighs after sunbathing on a wickerwork chair.

Kettering

Keele (adj.)

The horrible smell caused by washing ashtrays.

Keele

Kalami (n.)

The ancient Eastern art of being able to fold road-maps properly.

Kalami

Kingston bagpuise (n.)

A forty-year-old sixteen-stone man trying to commit suicide by jogging.

Kingston bagpuise

Kurdistan (n.)

Hard stare given by a husband to his wife when he notices a sharp increase in the number of times he answers the phone to be told, 'Sorry, wrong number.'

Kurdistan

Kentucky (adv.)

Fitting exactly and satisfyingly.
  The cardboard box that slides neatly into an exact space in a garage, or the last book which exactly fills a bookshelf, is said to fit 'real nice and kentucky'.

Kentucky

Knaptoft (n.)

The mysterious fluff placed in your pockets by dry-cleaning firms.

Knaptoft

Kimmeridge (n.)

The light breeze which blows through your armpit hair when you are stretched out sunbathing.

Kimmeridge