Dolgellau (n.)

The clump, or cluster, of bored, quietly enraged, mildly embarrassed men waiting for their wives to come out of a changing room in a dress shop.

Dolgellau

Draffan (n.)

An infuriating person who always manages to look much more dashing that anyone else by turning up unshaven and hangover at a formal party.

Draffan

Drebley (n.)

Name for a shop which is supposed to be witty but is in fact wearisome, e.g. 'The Frock Exchange', 'Hair Apparent', etc.

Drebley

Duggleby (n.)

The person in front of you in the supermarket queue who has just unloaded a bulging trolley on to the conveyor belt and is now in the process of trying to work out which pocket they left their cheque book in, and indeed which pair of trousers.

Duggleby

Duluth (adj.)

The smell of a taxi out of which people have just got.

Duluth

Dogdyke (vb.)

Of dog-owners, to adopt the absurd pretence that the animal shitting in the gutter is nothing to do with them.

Dogdyke

Dobwalls (pl.n.)

The now hard-boiled bits of nastiness which have to be prised off crockery by hand after it has been through a dishwasher.

Dobwalls

Dibble (vb.)

To try to remove a sticky something from one hand with the other, thus causing it to get stuck to the other hand and eventually to anything else you try to remove it with.

Dibble

Detchant (n.)

That part of a hymn (usually a few notes at the end of a verse) where the tune goes so high or low that you suddenly have to change octaves to accommodate it.

Detchant

Deal (n.)

The gummy substance found between damp toes.

Deal

Dalrymple (n.)

Dalarymples are the things you pay extra for on pieces of hand-made craftwork - the rough edges, the paint smudges and the holes in the glazing.

Dalrymple

Didling (participial vb.)

The process of trying to work out who did it when reading a whodunnit, and trying to keep your options open so that when you find out you can allow yourself to think that you knew perfectly well who it was all along.

Didling

Deeping St Nicholas (n.)

What street-wise kids do at Christmas. They hide on the rooftops waiting for Santa Claus so that if he arrives and goes down the chimney, they can rip stuff off from his sleigh.

Deeping St Nicholas

Dobwalls (pl.n.)

The now hard-boiled bits of nastiness which have to be prised off crockery by hand after it has been through a dishwasher.

Dobwalls

Dunbar (n.)

A highly specialised fiscal term used solely by turnstile operatives at Regent's Park zoo. It refers to the variable amount of increase in the variable gate takings on a Sunday afternoon, caused by persons going to the zoo because they are in love and believe that the feeling of romance will be somehow enhanced by the smell of panther sweat and rank incontinence in the reptile house.

Dunbar

Damnaglaur (n.)

A certain facial expression which actors are required to demonstrate their mastery of before they are allowed to play MacBeth.

Damnaglaur

Dillytop (n.)

The kind of bath plug which for some unaccountable reason is actually designed to sit on top of the hole rather than fit into it.

Didcot (n.)

The tiny oddly-shaped bit of card which a ticket inspector cuts out of a ticket with his clipper for no apparent reason. It is a little-known fact that the confetti at Princess Margaret's wedding was made up of thousands of didcots collected by inspectors on the Royal Train.

Didcot

Duntish (adj.)

Mentally incapacitated by severe hangover.

Duntish

Droitwich (n.)

A street dance. The two partners approach from opposite directions and try politely to get out of each other's way. They step to the left, step to the right, apologise, step to the left again, apologise again, bump into each other and repeat as often as unnecessary.

Droitwich