Lubcroy (n.)

The telltale little lump in the top of your swimming trunks which tells you you are going to have to spend half an hour with a safety pin trying to pull the drawstring out again.

Lubcroy

Luffness (n.)

Hearty feeling that comes from walking on the moors with gumboots and cold ears.

Luffness

Luppitt (n.)

The piece of leather which hangs off the bottom of your shoe before you can be bothered to get it mended.

Luppitt

Lowestoft (n.)

(a) The balls of wool which collect on nice new sweaters. (b) The correct name for 'navel fluff'.

Lowestoft

Low Ardwell (n.)

Seductive remark made hopefully in the back of a taxi.

Low Ardwell

Longniddry (n.)

A droplet which persists in running out of your nose.

Longniddry

Lochranza (n.)

The long unaccomplished wail in the middle of a Scottish folk song where the pipes nip around the corner for a couple of drinks.

Lochranza

Lower Peover (n.)

Common solution to the problems of a humby (q.v.)

Lower Peover

Little Urswick (n.)

The member of any class who most inclines a teacher towards the view that capital punishment should be introduced in schools.

Little Urswick

Lindisfarne (adj.)

Descriptive of the pleasant smell of an empty biscuit tin.

Lindisfarne

Le Touquet (n.)

A mere nothing, an unconsidered trifle, a negligible amount. Un touquet is often defined as the difference between the cost of a bottle of gin bought in an off-licence and one bought in a duty-free shop.

Le Touquet

Lydiard tregoze (n.)

The opposite of a mavis enderby (q.v.). An unrequited early love of your life who still causes terrible pangs though she inexplicably married a telephone engineer.

Lydiard tregoze

Lybster (n., vb.)

The artificial chuckle in the voice-over at the end of a supposedly funny television commercial.

Lybster

Louth (n.)

The sort of man who wears loud check jackets, has a personalized tankard behind the bar and always gets served before you do.

Louth

Lowther (vb.)

(Of a large group of people who have been to the cinema together.)
To stand aimlessly about on the pavement and argue about whatever to go and eat either a Chinese meal nearby or an Indian meal at a restaurant which somebody says is very good but isn't certain where it is, or have a drink and think about it, or just go home, or have a Chinese meal nearby - until by the time agreement is reached everything is shut.

Lowther

Luton (n.)

The horseshoe-shaped rug which goes around a lavatory seat.

Luton

Luffenham (n.)

Feeling you get when the pubs aren't going to be open for another fortyfive minutes and the luffness in beginning to wear a bit thin.

Luffenham

Lulworth (n.)

Measure of conversation. A lulworth defines the amount of the length, loudness and embarrassment of a statement you make when everyone else in the room unaccountably stops talking at the same time.

Lulworth

Limerigg (vb.)

To jar one's leg as the result of the disappearance of a stair which isn't there in the darkness.

Limerigg

Lossiemouth (n.)

One of those middle-aged ladies with just a hint of a luxuriant handlebar moustache.

Lossiemouth