Sotterley (n.)

Uncovered bit between two shops with awnings, which you have to cross when it's raining.

Sotterley

Draffan (n.)

An infuriating person who always manages to look much more dashing that anyone else by turning up unshaven and hangover at a formal party.

Draffan

Sketty (n.)

Apparently self-propelled little dance a beer glass performs in its own puddle.

Sketty

Brecon (n. anatomical term)

That part of the toenail which is designed to snag on nylon sheets.

Brecon

Haxby (n.)

Any garden implement found in a potating shed whose exact purpose is unclear.

Haxby

Goosecruives (pl. n. archaic)

A pair of wooden trousers worn by poultry-keepers in the Middle Ages.

Goosecruives

Burleston (n., vb.)

That peculiarly tuneless humming and whistling adopted by people who are extremely angry.

Burleston

Slumbay (n.)

The cigarette end someone discovers in the mouthful of lager they have just swigged from a can at the end of party.

Slumbay

Aynho (vb.)

Of waiters, never to have a pen.

Aynho

Trossachs (pl.n.)

The useless epaulettes on an expensive raincoat.

Trossachs

Berepper (n.)

The irrevocable and sturdy fart released in the presence of royalty, which sounds quite like a small motorbike passing by (but not enough to be confused with one).

Berepper

Shalunt (n.)

One who wears Trinidad and Tobago T-shirts on the beach in Bali to prove they didn't just win the holiday in a competition or anything.

Shalunt

Corriemuchloch (n.)

Word describing the kind of person who can make a complete mess of a simple job like walking down a corridor.

Corriemuchloch

Luppitt (n.)

The piece of leather which hangs off the bottom of your shoe before you can be bothered to get it mended.

Luppitt

Botcherby (n.)

The principle by which British roads are signposted.

Botcherby

Drebley (n.)

Name for a shop which is supposed to be witty but is in fact wearisome, e.g. 'The Frock Exchange', 'Hair Apparent', etc.

Drebley

Slubbery (n.)

The gooey drips of wax that dribble down the sides of a candle so beloved by Italian restaurants with Chianti bottles instead of wallpaper.

Slubbery

Henstridge (n.)

The dried yellow substance found between the prongs of forks in restaurants.

Henstridge

Gretna Green (adj.)

A shade of green which cartoon characters dangle over the edge of a cliff.

Gretna Green

Berkhamsted (n.)

The massive three-course midmorning blow-out enjoyed by a dieter who has already done his or her slimming duty by having a teaspoonful of cottage cheese for breakfast.

Berkhamsted

Slogarie (n.)

Hillwalking dialect for the seven miles of concealed rough moorland which lie between what you though was the top of the hill and what actually is.

Slogarie

Tuamgraney (n.)

A hideous wooden ornament that people hang over the mantelpiece to prove they've been to Africa.

Tuamgraney

Bures (n.medical)

The scabs on knees and elbows formed by a compulsion to make love on cheap Habitat floor-matting.

Bures

Corstorphine (n.)

A very short peremptory service held in monasteries prior to teatime to offer thanks for the benediction of digestive biscuits.

Corstorphine

Brymbo (n.)

The single unappetising bun left in a baker's shop after four p.m.

Brymbo

Shenandoah (n.)

The infinite smugness of one who knows they are entitled to a place in a nuclear bunker.

Shenandoah

Duggleby (n.)

The person in front of you in the supermarket queue who has just unloaded a bulging trolley on to the conveyor belt and is now in the process of trying to work out which pocket they left their cheque book in, and indeed which pair of trousers.

Duggleby

Burwash (n.)

The pleasurable cool sloosh of puddle water over the toes of your gumboots.

Burwash

Hever (n.)

The panic caused by half-hearing Tannoy in an airport.

Hever

Bishop’s Caundle (n.)

An opening gambit before a game of chess whereby the missing pieces are replaced by small ornaments from the mantelpiece.

Bishop’s Caundle

Shoeburyness (abs.n.)

The vague uncomfortable feeling you get when sitting on a seat which is still warm from somebody else's bottom.

Shoeburyness