Thursday, June 9, 2011

Grimsby (n.)

A lump of something gristly and foultasting concealed in a mouthful of stew or pie.
 Grimsbies are sometimes merely the result of careless cookery, but more often they are placed there deliberately by Freemasons.
Grimbies can be purchased in bulk from any respectable Masonic butcher on giving him the secret Masonic handbag. One is then placed correct masonic method of dealing with it. If the guest is not a Mason, the host may find it entertaining to watch how he handles the obnoxious object.
It may be
 (a) manfully swallowed, invariably bringing tears to the eyes.
 (b) chewed with resolution for up to twenty minutes before eventually resorting to method (a),
 (c) choked on fatally.
 The Masonic handshake is easily recognised by another Mason incidentally, for by it a used grimsby is passed from hand to hand.
 The secret Masonic method for dealing with a grimsby is as follows : remove it carefully with the silver tongs provided, using the left hand. Cross the room to your host, hopping on one leg, and ram the grimsby firmly up his nose, shouting, 'Take that, you smug Masonic bastard.'


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